A Drop from Blue Heaven comes into Flower in Red 　Ver. 2.0 　
by Nagui Kaztaka

Behold.
On a fine day, the sky is high and transparently blue with no cloud and wind.
The summer sun shines alone high above in the blue sky.
A girl crouches down to the ground.
She is stricken by despair and disbelief.
She can see not a wood or a weed.
Anyway she does not want anythig.
She gives up everything.
Thirsty she is, indeed.
But, she does not want to drink water.
To live or not to live matters little to her.
She is so exhausted and left with no power to desire.
Death is a intimate and sole friend to her in all these days.
In her disappearing consciousness, she feels dying with nobody caring and even watching her.
There is no one around.
Not a human being can exist in such a deserted barren land.
Only silence prevails far beyond.
No hatred here, no mockery anymore.
She escaped herself from people's lie, because she cannot endure it.
It is natural for people to disguise selfishness as affection, insensitiveness as pride.
But she could not endure it.
She is grown up and not a child anymore.
Grown up in vain.
So well she knows that she also has badness in herself.
She remembers that she could even hate a friend of her, hate her own mother.
Hatred was a so strong feeling that washes her away.
The fact that she can hate frightened her.
She lost herself in selfdisgust.
She did not want to be anything.
Despair was waiting her ahead before her doing anything.
And now she wants nothing.
But a small wish comes to her.
She wishes as a last thing in this world something that proves her existence in the world.
Anythig will do.
A small one and just a proof.
For example, a wind blowing her cheeks or a drop from blue heaven high above there will do.
Having nothing anymore, she will give up anything,
even her life for a drop from blue heaven,
because it will proves her being in the world.
But on a day so cleared up, it is impossible to anticipate a drop from heaven.
She is nothing now but just a body with two legs and two arms.
Both legs have five toes each, both arms have a hand with fingers.
It is a first time she is aware of her body.
She is nothing, frightend by despair and selfdisgust.
No wind around or no drop from heaven.
But she is aware that she has a body.
She draws up the knees and stands up still with all her last strength.
From deep in her body comes up a music like a trmbling of muscles.
She walks and walks around.
Her hands catch a wind.
She is a wind.
It is a surprise to her that her body wants to move and begins to move.
With crushed mind to pieces by despair, then the body begins to sing a song.
A song of grief, a song of despair, but in next instance it changes to a song of joy.
In the body despair can co-exist with joy and bliss.
She begins to dance.
Not knowing how, she can dance.
It is not her own will.
The body dance itself.
There comes down not a drop from blue heaven,
but her body twinkles like a drop from blue heaven.